Loneliness

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Saturday afternoon and I’m currently getting a hair spa done at my condo’s hairdresser. From afar, this lifestyle may seem glamorous and self indulgent but the reality is, I’m lonely and I need to do these kind of things to get through the loneliness. Hubby has been traveling for work for the past two months. My kids have been sick this past week and its been a really tough few nights trying to nurse their fevers. I’ve been surviving on two hours of sleep per night and maybe a 2 hour nap each day.

The old me feels that it’s Saturday night and I should be going out! The other part of me knows that I am a mother now and I should be content to stay at home. But I’m a very social person and although I’ve popped three children out of me, doesn’t mean that I’ve suddenly had a personality change and want to crawl under a rock to hide! I still love going out and drinking; and being surrounded by people, laughing and getting dressed up. Being out of the house gives me energy and after this tough week with the kids, I desperately need a night out!

This is when it sucks to be an expat wife. I feel like I’m a single mum but in some sense, its even worse than being a single mum because I do have a husband but he’s not really here. If he’s not traveling, he’s consumed in his job. At least if I were single, I would have made plans with my other single friends (or jumped onto Tinder ;-)) however my married friends have made plans. I have no single friends to call up and catch up with. I’m literally stuck at home and I can’t spontaneously go out tonight even though I have two live in nannies who could mind the kids.

I’m not the kind of person that let these things stop me. If I want to go out, then I know there are options out there is this beautiful city tonight. I’m not shy to go out alone. I could have gone shopping (I love that shops are open until 10!) I could go watch a movie or even go salsa dancing! However I didn’t ask my driver to work tonight and I don’t want to take a taxi out on my own. So it looks like I will be spending another lonely Saturday, getting a hair spa and then watching Netflix, again.

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